Kraig Lowell Pullam

My thoughts. My reflections. My journey…. On pastoring, preaching, leading & learning.

Archive for the tag “family”

Farewell, Servant…

fullsizeoutput_5a00I have never fully dreaded the idea of attending the homegoing of a family member.  When my mother in law’s brother, Marvin Small, passed away…I felt it slightly.  But I never will forget the last time I saw him outside of our local neighborhood grocery store, sitting in his car….Uncle Marvin gave me a look of farewell.  I felt a sense of closure.  I eagerly gathered up the strength to be there for the extended family who had become my own, and our young son, Kai, who grew to know and love the quiet uncle who lived a few houses down the street from us.  I slightly dreaded attending that funeral; but this is different.  

My Uncle Lloyd is gone.  The tears I shed just even writing those words are hard to explain, especially for a man who never, ever cries; not even really much when my grandfathers passed away.  Getting the news from my first cousin this past Monday….upon hanging up the phone, I cannot explain the feelings that overtook me in that moment.  My father’s only living brother; the patriarch of our family….now gone.

Growing up with hearing problems, I used to think he was the visible twin of the invisible God because it seemed as if everyone called him “Lord!”  My brothers called him “Uncle Lord!”  And my own father called him “Lord!”  I determined he was somebody important!  

Over time, not only did I learn the difference between Lord and Lloyd, but I grew to appreciate his ubiquitous presence at monumental events.  As I grew, I would learn that DFW was not some hop, skip and jump from the Sparkling City by the Sea.  And yet….he was at my first sermon, there for every milestone event in the life of our family; and could always be heard in any setting….especially church.  

People loved to hear him sing “I Won’t Complain” and “My Soul Has Been Anchored.”  But to hear him sing “Because He Lives” was my favorite.  He sang it in March of 1994, at my first public sermon, during the invitation.  

Behind the scenes…he gave me a heads up on approaching a young lady from Houston I had been admiring at his church, who would eventually become my wife.  Behind the scenes…I called him in the Fall of 2015 to ask him about a church in Atlanta, and he instructed me to, rather, submit my inquiry and information to Shiloh in Fort Worth…a church I knew nothing about; and the place where I now pastor; and hope to retire.  My first 5-day revival, as a teenager, was at his church, St. Emmanuel, in Denton.  Surprisingly, amidst the poor sermons I preached, he’d invite me back a few times afterwards.  Eventually, he influenced Pastor R.L. Sanders to preach me each year in revival in Fort Worth.  In time, that led way to preaching in Oklahoma for many years for Pastor J. A. Reed, Jr.  When he was healthy, Uncle Lloyd would attend those revivals, even the ones in Oklahoma, regularly and nightly.  

Several years ago…Uncle Lloyd had a stroke.  Eventually, this led to his retiring from Pastoring.  It did not alter his mind; but it did slow him down.  I could see some changes in his life.  But I never saw him waver on his call and his love for God.  I am certain he wondered why God wouldn’t have healed him completely.  I am also sure, like anyone, it was challenging to depend on others to do for him what he once did for himself.  I would confide in him my wish for him to capitalize on what he had been left with, by God.  But I personally would ask God often to give him more years, more time, and healing.  

The last time I saw him…I felt I saw a glimmer of hope.  For the first time in a long while, he didn’t go to sleep on me.  He was talking and smiling; and sounding like his old self.  He perked up when talking about George McCalep, as we always did; and about his ministry that he had been planning to launch and expand.  It was like old times.  We talked about barbecue, Shiloh, and family.  

I finally expressed to him that I was leaving to head back to Keller.  And he said to me, “Before you leave, will you pray?”  I prayed with my Uncle.  I didn’t pray for healing (I honestly felt that God was answering that prayer).  I simply thanked the Lord for the journey.  I thanked the Lord for His peace.  I thanked Him for my Uncle.  I thanked the Lord for Aunt Janice, their children, grandchildren, friends and family.  I asked the Lord to let us all know beyond a shadow of any doubt that He is God and God all by Himself.  After our prayer together, I told him I love him and I would see him soon.  

My dread of attending my Uncle’s home going is not because of any regret; but it is in the fact that I just wished he had more time.  This loss has taken me to a new, somber, unexpected place.  It is hard to believe I will never hear his voice alive, on this side, again.  It is so hard to believe that the man who was always present for us (even after his stroke)….now rests in the arms of our Savior.  But somewhere through here there is a lesson about submitting to the will and wisdom of God.  All of our steps are ordered, including his and mine.  When our work is completed, until the final chapter….God will have the last word.  I thank the Lord for my Aunt Janice, who never wavered on fulfilling the vows “for better or worse; in sickness and in health….till death do us part.”  She is to be commended and applauded for all she has done.

My Uncle will be missed by many.

Oh, I’m certain he wasn’t perfect.  But I am certain he is in the presence of my Savior…..healed, whole, lifting up both of his hands, walking, SINGING, shouting, crying, rejoicing and worshipping. 

Uncle Lloyd in now in the presence of the LORD!

I’ll see him soon….but not yet!

 

Celebration of Life for Reverend Lloyd Anthony Pullam will be as follows:
Viewing on Friday, May 17th from 12-8pm
People’s Funeral Home
1122 E Mulberry Street
Denton, Texas 76205

Funeral Service on Saturday, May 18th 11am
St Andrew COGIC
608 Lakey Street
Denton, Texas 76205

 

Cheating for Priorities

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Several years ago I ran across a copy of Andy Stanley’s book ‘Choosing to Cheat.’ In this book Stanley offers a compelling argument against the workaholism that has plagued and inundated generations of American families. “Choosing to Cheat” is built on the premise that everyone cheats somewhere, be it work, school, family, spouse, church, etc. He affirms that there simply aren’t enough hours for everything and everyone pressing an vying for your attention and primacy. And of course, it’s easier to cheat our families than to cheat our families. Scripture teaches and avows a structuring of one’s life and prioritizing the elements of our attention in a direction that will ultimately strengthen us from the inside, out. As a bi-vocational Pastor with the growing needs of a growing congregation, challenges of serving as a chaplain to a level-1 trauma center in a large metropolitan area, and keeping up with my love for preaching, Christian education and learning the scriptures and writing – I can sometimes feel like I am drowning. Couple this with being a devoted husband to a wonderful woman for 14 years, Dad to growing boys, son to aging parents and a host of family and friends who cannot be measured in time increments – well, it all can become overwhelming; especially without an administrative assistant or full-time secretary. I tend to agree with Stanley’s notion when I say, in my own way, ‘Something’s Gotta Give.’

The preacher/pastor must set priorities. The challenges I faced at 25 are not the same as challenges I face now at 35. My life is completely different. Andy Stanley writes, “Following the principles of God results in the blessings of God.” The author’s dad, Charles Stanley, says, “God doesn’t reveal His will for our consideration. He reveals it for our participation.” The challenge is finding a way to emulate and become a direct reflection of the man described in Psalm 1.

1 Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

3 He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.
4 The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
6 for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

God wants His people to flourish and lead a positive life in a negative world. But often, people tend to be creatures of habit and conventional routine. We often gravitate toward what is safe, not necessarily what is good. Or we settle for the ordinary rather than pursue what is superlatively greater. Tragically, this is often the case for those in ministry.

In order to succeed in one’s call, one must want to be successful in ministry BAD ENOUGH. One must desire more for every area of life—especially as it relates to that which is spiritual and eternal. This requires a willingness to obey God’s plan and principles; and a willingness to ‘cheat’ where needed, in order that priorities may be established and we may show ourselves, ‘approved’.

As I sort through how I can be a better 1) Follower of Christ 2) Husband 3) Father 4) Pastor/Teacher 5) Son 6) Friend….there are 5 ways that setting objectives and goals for cheating can help:

1. Imagination. Psalm 33:5 says that “the earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.” I am asking God in prayer to rule over my imagination and my thought-life; and asking Him to show me how to creatively navigate through all of the challenges and pressures of my schedule, as I seek to prioritize what’s important to Him. In Jeremiah 29:11, we discover that God has ‘plans’ and ‘thoughts’ concerning the affairs of His people. The term ‘plans’ is a picture of a craftsman who gnits together fabrics for the purpose of creating a garment to be worn and adorned. The craftsman has a plan for the product. In like manner, we must visualize the dream and vision God has for us, and how He seeks to ultimately reveal His plan for our lives.

2. Anticipation. A man cannot truly know where he is going without knowing how he will get there. As you visualize and identify your goals, you place yourself in a posture to ask God (the Creator of the universe) specifically for what He desires and then to look for His prescription or provision.

3. Inspiration. How does God view your life? How does God view your priorities? What’s most important to God in your life? What in your life displeases Him? Is there any part of your life that others would view and make them think you don’t know Jesus? The ultimate aim is to see your life as the Father sees it, and then act on what He guides you to do. Psalm 32:8 clearly teaches that God is concerned about the direction of our lives, and is willing to instruct us and teach us the way that we should go.

4. Reflection. This is, essentially, meditation. Meditation comes through submission to the Father. I think we fail to often understand the Lordship of Christ. Someone has said, ‘If He is not Lord in all, He ceases to be Lord of all.’ As you meditate on His Word, you learn more about the lordship of Christ, the goodness of God the father, the leading of God’s Holy Spirit and His plan for your life.

5. Realization. True to His Word, God will faithfully guide His servant into all truth. I am convinced that God will reward those who are faithful. Whether one’s assignment is to preach to 10 each week, or you have been entrusted to lead thousands; or one’s spouse is gainfully employed or challenged to make ends meet – thank God for what you’ve been given as your lot. Let God better you and grow you, as you draw closer to Him; and watch Him reveal His plan for your life, even in life’s testing places.

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